Archive | September, 2011

Been Gone For A Week…

28 Sep

Sorry for my lack of posts (as if anyone cares). I spent the week in North Dakota surprising my sister with the help of my brother-in-law, meeting my three-month old nephew, and watching my two-year old niece in awe.

Now, a few stories from the week, or phrases anyway…

Planes suck. 4 hours on a plane sucks. Both of my longer flights made me plane sick and its the first time that’s happened since I was little and flying from Germany. Vomit, vomit, vomit (not really).

My sister escorted an old man outside as if she was his mistress. True story and I may have volunteered her.

Cutest thing to ever happen to the world is my niece being tucked in twice a day and both times her parents singing to her.

Baby smell is the best.

The movie “Abducted” was awful and spoiler alert! Nobody even gets abducted, not even once!

I missed nine of “my shows” during the 5 day period I was away. I’m not sure if this is super lame or really awesome. You’re right, it’s super awesome.

Took a Delta blanket off the plane with me, is that allowed?

Cheesecake with a sour cream topping basically tastes like sour cheesecake. Also don’t buy whipped icing, it tastes like a cloud but like not in a good way.

I took a pop tart from my sisters to eat on the plane, but I never did so I’m eating it now. She won’t know I took it until she reads this, hope it wasn’t a sacred pop tart.

Can you guys believe the Teen Mom Finale Special is broken up into two one hour specials and we have to wait till next week for the good one!? (no one cares about Farrah and Amber)

And now back to business, where were we? Oh right moving in two days. Time for a nap.


Airplane Not So Buddy

25 Sep

You know how when you’re traveling alone on an airplane for upwards of four hours you just hope you get one of those really talkative over sharing individuals as your new best friend to sit next to for the duration of your flight? Me neither.

On Friday I flew to North Dakota to surprise my sister for her birthday. I flew from LAX, had a layover in Minneapolis, and then flew another hour to get to the teeny airport in ND where she lives. Luckily my first flight which was the 3+ hour flight went pretty smoothly. I was able to avoid all potential eye contact that would lead to any kind of small talk, and just listened to my music. But on the second flight I wasn’t so lucky.

It was one of those small planes, probably closer to a jet, that only fit like 30 people. Since I’m special I got stuck with the seat farthest back on the plane. It had to be an after thought when this jet was built. Right across from the bathroom, two seats without any kind of tray table situation or leg room. It was a dream (for like a fat man if he got to sit in both seats).

As I’m sitting in my seat getting situated for takeoff, about to put my ear buds in, the old man who’s sentenced to this death trap of a seat with me, also known as seat 13B (awesome name for a horror film if anyones looking “Seat 13B”), sits down next to me. Then he does my least favorite thing a person can do to me. Talking. Small talking. Ughughughugh. Why wasn’t I just a few seconds quicker with those ear buds!

Who want’s to hear this man’s life story? Me too, me too!

He was one of those old people who laughs at everything he says if he thinks it’s funny, even if no one else is laughing. No one else was laughing. He told me all about his wife, his kids, his sister who would be visiting the next day, his son’s fiance who’s stocky (his words not mine) and hunts caribou (a type of animal I presume), I know all the gory details. I don’t even like talking to people I do know why was this stranger talking to me? I couldn’t have possibly looked interested (that’s not true, I have this horrible quality where I can’t be mean to strangers {to their faces} even if I don’t care about what they’re saying to me, it’s awful).

To give you an idea of what this guy was like he’s an old Norwegian and lives in Grand Forks, North Dakota. BY CHOICE. Why don’t more people make fun of North Dakota? This really should be a thing.

Thank God this was my short flight and I really did learn an important lesson.

Board planes with ear buds already in (even if not listening to music, there is no coming back after someone takes an interest in talking to you on a plane) or vomit on anyone who insists on talking to you, I’m sure he would have relocated if only I could have pulled that off.

Highlights Of The Coming Week: Sept. 26th – Oct. 2nd

25 Sep

Nothing exciting even happens this week so I’m gonna make stuff up…p.s. who likes my additions to the calendar above? super artistic right?

Monday the 26th –

The Hands Across America organization is holding another event today, like the one from 1986 where approximately 6.5 million people held hands across the Continental United States forming a chain across the states and raising money for charity. This time it’s just going to be a giant country-wide hug, where each individual state will have a meeting place for their “hug” (it will all be noon central time), most “hugs” will likely span a few cities. To find the “hug” meet up city in your state go to (I don’t know why I’m making fun of this I actually think it’s like the coolest and hope “Hands Across America” does happen again so I can be a part of it, go to at your own risk)

Tuesday the 27th –

My sister’s computer keeps making me type in BOLD and it’s making me angry. Ugh. (this is happening right now not on Tuesday)

Wednesday the 28th –

Rosh Hashanah begins at sundown and lasts through nightfall on Sept. 30. I’m going to convert for these days because work isn’t permitted during Rosh Hashanah for the Jewish. (oh wait I don’t have a job, carry on without me Jews)

Thursday the 29th –

Soooo much to do on this day. I’ll probably sleep till noon.

Friday the 30th –

This is the day I’m moving. If you’re not at my house to help me unpack I don’t want to speak to you ever again (I’m only partly joking if you live within driving distance).

Saturday the  1st –

First day of October. I feel like October is kind of the lost month. I often forget about it and even skip over it when reciting the months (I also skip August, whoops). Even with Halloween being thrown in there, October means very little to me. Sorry all you October fans out there.

Sunday the 2nd –

Ummmm, umm, uh, ummmmm……Sunday Funday!! Do stuff.

This was like the lamest “Highlights of the coming week”, congrats if you made it this far.


“Psychic, Palm Readings”

22 Sep

It was an overcast afternoon a few years back. I was staying with my best friend in Nebraska, both working ten-hour days at the local Chuck E. Cheese. Everyday on the four-minute ride to work we passed a house that advertised “Psychic, Palm Readings” in giant neon letters in their front window. I found a few things about this strange. First of all palm readings right out of your house? I had never heard of such a thing. How much money were they actually making with this business? Was the sign supposed to be an inside joke of sorts? An attempt at irony? But everyday as we turned right on Cass St. and laid eyes on that lone house by the gas station with the neon sign I was intrigued.

We joked about going a few times but mostly it sort of freaked me out. One day after getting off work when it was still light outside, which was a miracle in itself, my best friend suggested we actually go check it out. Because she’s awesome like that and likes to do scary things (Hobbitsville story to come!). She’s the adventurous one, I’m down to do new things but I don’t like want to do new things, if you know what I mean. Nah you don’t, that doesn’t even make any sense.

It was literally a 2 second drive (nope that’s not literal) from the store to this house. She pulled into the empty driveway and we looked up at this little house with its always glowing neon sign. It was hard to even tell if anyone was home.

I’m not sure what I was expecting. A cloaked woman with a crystal ball, being lead up to an attic with its one draped window, some mood lighting, maybe a candle. But certainly wasn’t expecting what we walked into.

We knock on the door and a woman wearing what can only be described as non-whimsical or warlocky clothing (jeans and a baggy tee-shirt) opens the door, and looks at us like “Who are you and what are you doing here?”. I KNEW it! Those signs are just part of some elaborate joke to play on unsuspecting non-locals. Of course you’re not running a psychic business out of your house, my bad.

“Oh okay, just give me a minute. What did you want to get done?”

Oooh creepy.

“We just wanna get our palms read, I guess.”

“Okay, I only do one at a time.”


“Um, what?”

“The other one will have to stay outside, one at a time.”

You know how when your little and your parents warn you about talking to strangers, or like going over to a probably axe-murder-rapist/psychics house? All the red flags and warning signs like them splitting you up from your friends? Yeah this could have totally been one of those times! (but don’t worry it totally wasn’t)

“Oh, Okay!”

I was up first. My best friend went to go sit back in the car and the lady (who still needed a second) disappeared around the corner. I was standing in the foyer and noticed the little fold out table and two chairs set up right in the entrance to this home. Like RIGHT in the entrance. Where you might leave your shoes if you were meant to go any further.

She was back quickly and instructed me to have a seat. There may or may not have been a crystal ball on the table, I’d like to think it was there but I don’t actually have any recollection. She couldn’t have been older than 30. It was all so surreal. She told me to think of a question about my future to ask her at the end and waited for me to think of one. But I couldn’t, I couldn’t think of a single question so I just nodded my head and pretended I did.

I honestly don’t have any idea of the things she said as she read my palm (This is why I needed my best friend there! Someone to actually listen to this broad), I know a few minutes in a child from the other room started crying and she went to get him and did the rest of the reading with him bouncing on her lap.

Between the kid bouncing and giggling, this stranger telling me vague things about my future, and the absurdity of sitting in her doorway with my palm upturned, I couldn’t remember a single thing she said. Although I nodded fervently the whole time and pretended like it was all so revealing and insightful. For all I know it was.

When she was done and asked me what my question was (which I totally forgot I should have been coming up with), I have no idea what I even asked her. I was afraid I’d ask something she already covered without realizing it. I’m sure I asked something about love or a boyfriend, but who knows.

Before I knew it I was back outside, waiting in the car as my best friend took her turn. After sitting for a while I could recall a few of the things she had said. It was the first time I’d ever had my palm read (I’m a pro now, I can actually pay some attention) and I wish I could still recall even one premonition she made. Not because I need them to be true or feel my decisions would be validated if they were foreseen in my palm, but because I’d like to judge her ridiculous profession based on anything she said actually coming true.

Especially, especially because she read my palm in her doorway, wearing jeans, possibly in the vicinity of a crystal ball, but definitely while bouncing a baby on her lap.

Soul Mates

21 Sep

Do you believe in soul mates? Like one person meant for everyone kinda soul mates?

I used to think about this a lot when I was like 18 and honestly the whole concept sounds pretty far-fetched. In a world filled with billions of people how were you supposed to find the other half to your soul? What an impossible thought. What a stupid idea. What if you lived in Missouri and your “soul mate” was in Japan, speaking a totally different language and stuff?

It’s actually pretty depressing if you think about it. What if you were married to someone who you loved and cared about but your soul mate was somewhere else in the world and you NEVER found them? NEVER? What a waste.

I also think a lot of people settle (not necessarily in a bad way either). But if your born and raised in Oklahoma, work at the local dairy barn in Oklahoma, and never leave Oklahoma, aren’t you going to end up with somebody from Oklahoma? Maybe soul mates are only for people who are seeking them? Maybe they’re one in a million? Or for people who won’t settle for less than the fairy tale? How are you to know?

I’ll tell you how.

If you asked my 18-year-old self about the validity of soul mates you would have gotten a “no”. But my 24-year-old self? Absolutely. No question. Unequivocally. Yes.

Because I’m not a freak and didn’t go looking for a soul mate or have like a soul mate checklist or anything, it didn’t occur to me to even think about whether my now husband was my soul mate until a few months after we were dating. And I was already in love with him. But that’s when I realized.

See I don’t think finding your soul mate has to be someone from across the world. Why can’t it be someone from the town you already live? How many events in your past lead you or even your family to that place? Not by chance. Something led to you working at Wal-Mart where you meet your future spouse, you could have just as easily worked at Target, right? But you didn’t. Every decision matters. And I think that’s what makes soul mates. A million things have to happen just right for you to even meet, nevermind falling in love.

My husband was born and raised in Tajikistan, Russia. When I met him he had only been speaking English for a year. The only family he has in the states lives in the same little town in CA that my Aunt lives, but yet he was in Omaha, NE for school. I had moved to Omaha for what was supposed to be just a year but three years later I was still there. And you’re telling me we both worked at the same establishment by chance? By chance? I don’t think so.

My soul mate was from across the world and I’m thankful everyday for the million things that had to go right to bring us together. I remember what he was wearing the day I met him. I remember him thinking I hated him. I remember the moment I fell in love with him. I remember the very second.


21 Sep

I think I’ve decided to link my blog to my Facebook. This will probably be most annoying to my Facebook friends but I’m kinda okay with that. I would link it to my Twitter too but I don’t really get Twitter. And I refuse to tweet things (tweet? I mean really? Couldn’t think of a lamer word?). I don’t understand retweeting and hashtagging, or when we decided to call the pound sign (#) a hashtag? Maybe that was always a thing and I just didn’t realize. I’m over it already. I have nothing clever to say in 120 (140?) characters anyway.

I also accidentally changed the home page a little bit. I’m not really sure how or how to change it back so I’ve decided I like it. I guess I don’t know how it looks to you anyway cause I’m always logged in, and I’m not so sure I remember my password so I refuse to log out and check it out. Hope it’s aesthetically pleasing!

I love writing things nobody cares about.

Fave Of The Week

21 Sep

Essential V-Neck Tee’s from Victoria’s Secret

I’m a huge fan of the plain tee, make it v-neck and I’m sold. Make it form-fitting and I’m double sold! These shirts from Victoria’s Secret are super comfortable and go with everything (because they’re plain duh). My cousin actually introduced me to these and it’s her fault they’re all I wear now. They come in like ten colors (I’m partial to the blue above and the dark grey) and are pretty reasonably priced at two for 26$ (reasonably for Victoria’s Secret I mean).

Check them out online HERE.

Fave of the week close seconds…

  • “New Girl” on FOX
  • figuring out how to change my homepage on this thing (sort of)
  • Trey Songz “Already Taken”