Things That Used To Be Cool…Or So I Thought

15 Nov

Remember when you were younger and you used to do things that you thought were super cool, but now it’s overly apparent they weren’t cool at all, even then. That basically sums up my childhood. A note to my former (and much lamer) self…

Dear 15 Year Old Me,

Put down the baggy clothes and scrunchies. Like ASAP. Don’t worry about collecting ALL of the beanie babies, trust me they will have no value in 10 years, despite what they’ll have you believe. Except for that platypus with the same birthday as yours, still be on the look out for that little purple guy. That trapper keeper and caboodle you think are “the bomb” are so not, also lose “the bomb” and don’t even think about adding the word “diggity” to it. Pogs are just little cardboard circles, like really, what did you do with those? Something about a slammer?! Right? Right?

Oh my God are those overalls?! And what is that horrible claw like headband thingy in your hair? Don’t even tell me you just bought some new butterfly clips. I don’t care what your mother tells you, those are awful. Don’t bother naming your Furby or your Tamagotchi, they’ll be out before you know it. You can spend hours learning how to do cool tricks with your yo-yo though, you’ll be the coolest kid on the block when you show them all how to do the “sleeper” on that thing. Sega who?

Oh and remember when you thought it was cool to dress the same as someone or everyone? Like the whole family wearing the same shirt on vacation and thinking it was awesome. Or the only thing you asking for the Christmas when you were 14 was those pull away pants with the snaps all down the sides? Huh do ya? Do ya? Knock it off, just knock it off.

I know this letter might seem harsh, but trust me, you’ll be better off. Plus you’ll have way less pictures to look back on and wonder if you suffered a minor stroke or something.

P.S. It’s okay to love “Saved By The Bell”, that show is still awesome.

Do you ever worry that the things you think are awesome now are the very same things you’ll look back on in 10 years with embarrassment? Yeah me neither, like everyday.

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