Archive | January, 2012

Three Years Old

31 Jan

A lady breastfed her kid in front of me at work the other day. While I was sitting right next to her helping her pick out portraits of her kid. Now I’m not sure why but I’m defiantly not down with the whole breastfeeding in public thing. Especially if you’re sitting less than a foot away from a stranger who’s just trying to do her job and get through a brief slide show so she can collect her minimum wage and get on with her life. Also it might have had something to do with the fact that her kid was three. You read it right, Three. Years. Old. If your kid can come up to you, grab your boob and say “I want milk mommy.” it’s probably time to give it a rest. It just baffled me the way she lifted her shirt up, stuck his head under and just kept going with the conversation as her son stood there eating his lunch, it was so bizarre. I’m surprised I held it together. It was one of those awkward moments where my eyebrow expressions gave away exactly what I was thinking anyway.

Now don’t get me wrong I’m all for anyone who decides to go the breastfeeding route, more power to ya. But bottle that stuff at home, isn’t that what those pumps are for? Or at least don’t sit right next to me and have your kid with a full set of teeth going to town under your shirt, it’s disturbing.

People must have thought the first person to drink cows milk was like a super weirdo right? Imagine being that guy. Going up to this big fat animal with giant nipples hanging under it, squeezing them only to have a white liquid come out and then drinking it!? Yup people hated that guy. I still hate that guy.   



Don’t Worry, I Don’t Know What This Post Is Really About Either…

20 Jan

My favorite part about deodorant is when it gets near the end and keeps flopping out of the holder and onto the floor. Also I really like when I buy new body wash because I ran out, but totally forget to put it in the shower until 4 minutes into my shower.

I probably should have done laundry today. And the dishes. AND I’m probably gonna spend my day off tomorrow avoiding doing these things all over again.

Bananas smell way better than they taste.

French fries should be their own food group. And you should need three servings a day.

I took a typing test the other day just for fun to see how fast I can type and I type 52 words per minute. I’m adding that to my resume. In middle school we had to take a typing class and tests all the time. They had those shields over your hands and keyboard so you couldn’t look at the keys. I would just slouch in my seat so I could see under the shield, such a cheater.

I don’t care about football. Or sports for that matter. Or whatever a Tebow is.

If you don’t already watch the show “Shameless” on Showtime, you need to put down your iPhone and get on that.

My blog has been acting weird lately. It shows me the stats all funny and won’t let me click half the things. It also had this big red warning sign that said my version of Internet Explorer was outdated and I needed to upgrade, which I prominently ignored, as I do every other pop up warning my computer throws in my face. I wonder if that’s the problem.  

Guys remember 2 years ago when Jesse McCartney was gonna release his “Have It All CD” and still HASN”T!? Lets fire that guy.

I gave my dogs both baths tonight and I feel super accomplished. I can’t ever have kids though. There’s no way I can be responsible for something that needs a bath more than once a month, I just can’t.

Is Leah from “Teen Mom 2” really pregnant again? With twins again?! Which one of you knows her personally and can give me the scoop on the baby bump?

What Do They Look Like Now? Deuce

14 Jan

Round two of looking up child actors and seeing just how awesome they turned out.

7th Heaven – Ruthie

Does everyone remember crazy little trouble maker Ruthie from “7th Heaven”? By the end of  the series wasn’t she somewhat of a wild child and by “wild child” I mean “slut”? I don’t remember cause once the three older kids grew up and moved out I stopped watching.

Mackenzie Rosman

She basically looks the same.

Look Who’s Talking – Mikey

I freaking love this movie!! I mean come on, that baby was hilarious, and John Travolta isn’t bad either.

Jacob Haines

Who’s this guy?

Now And Then – Samantha

Samantha is the one on the far left. I chose this picture of all of them because I wasn’t aware that the one who played Chrissy (far right – Ashleigh Aston Moore) died in 2006 from a heroin overdose. How sad.

Gabby Hoffman

In all of her pictures she basically looks this frazzled. In fact some are much worse, like this…

That’s a totally different dress on a totally different day. Her eyes didn’t used to look like that, did they? We need to get you to the salon girl!

Boy Meets World – Minkus

Minkus! After the first few seasons where Minkus was a pretty regular character he just sort of vanishes. We didn’t even get to see him go to high school, let alone college. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if that dorky little kid grew up to be super studly and just threw it in everyone’s face that he’s more than just that dork from “Boy Meets World”, like some real Urkel and Stefan type of stuff?

Lee Norris

Welp, he successfully looks more like a chipmunk.

Catch That Kid – Gus

I secretly love this children’s movie. I also secretly love that Kristen Stewart is in it. I own it if anyone wants to borrow it.

Max Thieriot

I’m pretty sure this kids a model or something now. He looks like he’s practicing to be in a vampire movie.

Roseanne – DJ

Just so you know this is one of my favorite shows. Reunion please!

Michael Fishman

Is it just me or does he look super old here? Like older than 31? Whatever, if he still had a bowl cut he’d look the same as he did back then.

Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century – Zenon

Raven get out of my picture! Don’t even pretend like you didn’t rock out to these movies. “Zoom, Zoom, Zoom. Make my heart go Boom, Boom. My supernova girl.” Uh I highly recommend you clicking that link and seeing that performance all over again for yourself!

Kirsten Storms

I liked the space outfits better…

Hey look guys it’s our old friend Protozoa!

Nathan Anderson

What! Just…WHAT!

8 Mile – Lily

Remember that cute kid everyone watching couldn’t help but feel sorry for?

Chloe Greenfield

She looks like she’s doing much better since she’s been out of that trailer.

Dollar Store-ies

14 Jan

This is the exact conversation I had with the cashier at the Dollar Store as she’s ringing me out…

Lady: (As she’s reading the wrapping of the candy I’m purchasing, because of course what else would I be buying at the Dollar Store) So it’s vanilla and then covered with chocolate?

It takes me a second to register she’s talking to me because I hate small talk and find it confusing when people take it upon themselves to drag me into this ridiculous cycle of exchanging meaningless words with strangers. So I just stare at her and then nod.

Lady: Mmm that sounds yummy.

What I should have said: Yes of course they’re yummy! Do you think I would have dragged my lazy self out of the house at 5pm when I just woke up a few hours ago for anything less than yummy!? Let’s not be ridiculous lady.

But instead I continued to stare at her and then reached for my wallet. As she’s waiting for me to resurface the depths of my purse with some money she starts caressing the heart-shaped Valentine’s Day balloons that are displayed right next to her.

Lady: We got these new balloons.

It was like the beginning of a sales pitch where she asks me if I’d like to purchase a balloon for a holiday that’s a month away, but she just stopped there.

I swipe my card and put in my pin at lightening speed, cause I’m a pro at paying debit. And she says this as she looks at the balloons.

Lady: They’re kind of an awkward shape though.

And she’s not wrong, they were obviously the batch of wrongly cut heart shapes that I’m sure crop up at dollar stores around the nation. But why was she telling me this? I barely uttered a word to her and she thinks I wanna hear about the awkward balloons?

I’m obviously the MOST fun person to ring out if you’re a cashier.

Have you ever been to one of those dollar stores where everything isn’t just a dollar? What’s up with those?

MySpace, Who?

13 Jan

I tried logging into my MySpace account just now, because like duh I just found this really cute new layout I neeeed to use and wanna change my profile song to “MMMBop”. But no really I haven’t been on MySpace in years and I totally forgot my email/password. So after like ten minutes of guess-work and trying to remember what email I used and then the right order in which to put the name/number/adjective, I finally got it right! But there’s just no way I’ll ever be able to come up with whatever the last password my teen-angst-self could have come up with. So I hit “Forgot Password” thinking it’ll ask me the standard “Whats’s your mother’s maiden name?” or “What street did you grow up on?”, you know questions any relative can answer, but instead it says that a change password email was sent to the email I just spent ten minutes trying to come up with. Which wouldn’t be a problem, except the only reason I stopped using that email was because I couldn’t remember the password in the first place. So what’s the point of the story? My MySpace account is forever frozen in time! I hope the people of the future continue to preserve it museum style when they dig it up.

…After typing that whole paragraph I went back to MySpace one more time so I could at least tell you guys what mood I would be frozen forever with (Excited!! {um what for? cryptic MySpace mood?}) and what song we would listen to together for eternity (“Party People” by Nelly feat. Fergie) and I tried one more time to guess my password and it was totally right! Now I could have just wiped that whole first paragraph there about not being able to access my account but then the hour I spent hacking into my own MySpace would feel like a total waste, so I kept it, you’re welcome.

P.S. Remember that thing MySpace always did where it was super slow and anytime you tried going to another page or a friend’s account it would freeze up? Yeah it still does that.

25 & 2,000

5 Jan


In 2 hours and 14 minutes I’m turning 25. Actually, technically, like my Mom would tell you, I was born in Germany so it’s already my birthday. I’m already 25.

A quarter of a century. Halfway through my twenties (Will people start describing me as being in my late twenties now? Or does that happen next year at 26?) Eight years since I graduated high school. Geez.

Age matters a great deal when you’re younger. 12 is a lot different from 14. And 16 is a world apart from 18. But once you hit 20 it all just sorta jumbles together. Whenever someone asks me my age I always have to stop and think about it (Fun Fact: In a post from this very blog I wrote my age wrong once already, not a mistype either, just plain old thought I was 23. The person who caught this mistake you ask? My Mom. Of course she would know, right.). I think around age 30, age starts mattering again, but I’ll get back to you in 5 years about that one.

I love that my birthday is at the beginning of the year. The new year always feels like a fresh start and turning a year older 6 days later just adds to the feeling of new beginnings. I can already tell I’m gonna like being 25. This is it, right here, right now. I won’t get a second chance at my 25th year.


Little Black Wedding Dress is 4 views away from 2,000 views. No joke. That’s in a little over four months, since my first post.

That’s the best birthday present of all! So thank you to everyone who takes the time to read my rantings and occacional ravings.

…I turn 25 in 1 hour and 38 minutes.

Fact Or Fate?

3 Jan

People more than anything are a product of their environment. Anyone who says differently is just lying to you.

I can’t decide which I believe is more true. The fact that if somethings meant to be it’ll happen, no matter what. Or the fact that every little thing matters, even the tiniest of decisions shape the future.

I guess in a sense both are true. Maybe fate only applies to big things, like life and death, success and failure, Cold Stone or Baskin Robbins. Cold Stone obviously. Maybe the small things in life are the only things we have any control over, but whose to say what’s big and small.

If I would have left the house 3 minutes later, that cop wouldn’t have been there and I wouldn’t have gotten that ticket.

If I didn’t ride my bike down that massive hill, I wouldn’t have flipped over the front of it and skid down the street scraping up my whole body.

If I hadn’t visited the penguin exhibit at that exact moment I would have missed that guy getting on one knee and proposing to that girl.

If I had taken that job offer, I wouldn’t have had the chance to date my now husband.

But who knows, maybe it would have all happened anyway. Maybe there would have been another cop a little further waiting to write me that ticket. Maybe if I didn’t go down that hill I would have run over a rock that threw me from my bike and got me all bruised up anyway. Maybe that guy was looking at that penguin exhibit all day and no matter what time I entered, that was going to be the moment he chose to drop to his knee. Maybe I would have ended up running into my husband at the produce section of the grocery store and the whole thing would have happened anyway.

I guess we’ll never know, huh.

Wanna know what’s even creepier to think about? In 100 years, none of this will matter. I mean sure we all hope we do something that’ll change the world and hopefully raise a few kids who make a difference. But the day-to-day stuff means very little.

No one will care what kind of car you drove or what kind of cell phone you had. No one will remember that time you wore your pajamas to the grocery store, the time you backed into a fence with your husband’s car, that time you waited until 6 months after your car registration was due to renew it or that blog you wrote in on occasion.

The only thing I plan to accomplish with my life is somehow, someway, leaving my mark on this earth. I don’t just wanna be remembered, I wanna make a difference. And I want to raise children who believe the same thing. I don’t care how they do it, but if in 100 years everything you did was for nothing then what was the point anyway?

Oh and because I’m lame and I think love is eternal I also plan on loving my husband with all my heart.

“It’s never too late to be the person you wanted to be.” – Some famous person, who I’m way too lazy to google right now, said this once. Also its very possible its anonymous.