I’m The Worst Adult

10 Aug

I don’t even know how to be a proper adult…

I still wait to do laundry until it’s bursting out the sides of my hamper.

The plates on my car expired a year ago, you heard right, a full year ago they expired. Not to mention I still have Nebraska plates even though I moved to California over a year ago. Whoopsie.

When I have to get up early my brain does this awesome thing where it starts reasoning with itself, bargaining for a few more minutes of sleep… “Well you do already know exactly what you’re going to wear today and you did have a late dinner last night so you probably don’t need any breakfast, that’s another 12 minutes you can sleep.” And then my half asleep brain manages to reset my alarm for 12 minutes later. And 12 minutes later it continues with an even more ridiculous bargaining strategy…”I’m pretty sure I parked on the side of the street closest to the house so I don’t have to walk across the street plus I left my shoes right by the front door instead of in the closet, that’s at least another 2 minutes I can sleep.” I can’t even tell you how long this goes on for.

For dinner yesterday I had Mike & Ikes and a bag of hot fries. And it wasn’t one of those oh shoot I forgot to pack something for dinner I guess I’m stuck eating out of the vending machine type of situations, this is what I chose to have for dinner. This is not healthy.

Their are like a bajillion stray dogs and cats in my neighborhood and I want them all. There’s one dog in particular who’s just so fuzzy and he lays in the middle of the street all day soaking up the sun, not worried about cars running him over, he just rolls around in the middle of the street. I swear if I could budgetarely afford it I’d take them all. Lets just pretend budgetarely is a word and that’s how you spell it cause I just made it up. Look at me all adult and shit making up words. Where you at Webster?

I wait to put gas in my car until the literal last second possible. Even though I’m fully aware of how bad that is for my car.

I know zero things about politics but I could tell you who Mila Kunis is dating.







One Response to “I’m The Worst Adult”

  1. Analiza August 17, 2012 at 7:46 am #

    totally, completely, every 20-30 year old woman 🙂

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